Some of you might know what a lucid dream is, some of you might not. In short, it's when you're asleep and dreaming, but you 

 you're dreaming. And if you're good enough, you can control it. This might sound like fantasy to those who've never experienced it, but trust me, it's real.

It started when I was around 14 or 15. One night I was in the middle of a dream and something just clicked. I realized I was dreaming. Not in a panicky way, but a quiet, clear awareness. 

 I went to Google, found out this was a real thing, and that you could actually 

 it. So I tried. It wasn't easy at first. The dream would collapse, or I'd wake myself up from excitement, or the awareness would slip away like trying to hold water in your hands.

But I kept at it. Slowly the control got more natural. And then at some point I stopped needing to try at all. I'd simply find myself inside a dream, already fully conscious, already aware. No effort. No technique. Just, 

The vividness changed too. Early on it felt unstable, like a signal cutting in and out. Now the colors are sharper, the details richer, sometimes more solid than my waking moments. Imagine being the director of a movie, but you're also the main character, and the entire world was built by your own mind. You're in it. You know you're in it. And sometimes, you can bend it.

That's my normal. Has been for over a decade now.

Most people who experience sleep paralysis describe it as terrifying. Stuck between sleeping and waking, body frozen, hearing sounds, feeling a strange heavy presence in the room. For them it's a nightmare they can't escape.

I noticed that sometimes before a lucid dream, I'd pass through sleep paralysis first. And somewhere along the way I stopped fighting it. Instead of snapping awake from fear, I'd slide straight through it into a fully conscious dream on the other side. Turns out when your body enters REM sleep, it shuts down your muscles so you don't act out your dreams. Normally your mind is already asleep before this happens. But when the mind stays awake through that transition, that's sleep paralysis. The body is already in dream mode. The mind is still watching. For an experienced lucid dreamer, that's not a trap. That's a launchpad.

That said, I don't always make it through. Some nights that primal part of the brain just overrides everything and forces me awake. Knowledge and instinct don't always agree. On those nights, I just let it go.

A nested dream, or false awakening, is when you dream that you've woken up. Your room, your surroundings, everything looks completely normal. Except you're still dreaming.

I've gone four layers deep. Fully aware at every single one.

Each time I'd "wake up," do a reality check and realize I was still inside a dream. Then fall asleep within that layer, wake up again, check again, still dreaming. Four times. Reality checks were everything, pushing your finger through your palm, reading text twice to see if it shifts, checking a clock. In a dream these things behave wrongly in small ways that the dreaming brain can't quite get right.

Getting out required reversing the same process I used to go deeper. Each layer, deliberately fall asleep, move back up one floor at a time, until I finally opened my eyes for real. In the moment it feels like navigating a building you've never been in, in the dark, while everything around you insists you're already home.

Four layers deep and still knowing exactly where I was, how I got there, and how to get back. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had inside a dream. There's something quietly profound about being lost that deep in your own mind, and still finding your way out.

This post was originally written and conceived by myself. Grammar and writing were revamped with the help of AI.

Welcome Back O'Sleeping Dreamer (Part 1)

don’t burn yourself to keep others warm.

Yet I have already burned myself to warm the other. At some point, I felt okay, because the warmth I gave brought others comfort, safety, and good things. But I also felt the pain of burning myself.

Some of you (my friends) already know that the flames didn’t just hurt me, it consumed me. And soon, I will turn into ashes.

But it’s okay. Let me burn. Let me feel a kind of pain I’ve never felt before.

Through this, I feel more alive. The more it hurts, the more alive I become.

Don’t stop me my friends, I know what I’m doing, even when I keep pouring oil onto myself, even when the flames rise higher.

Like a phoenix, which must burn before rising into a new life from its ashes, so must I.

This agony is strangely beautiful. I know it hurts, very hurts yet I still embrace it. I do not regret becoming this way.

When I finally become ashes, I know a new and beautiful life will begin within me

Into the Ash of Agony

2025 is about to end, and I did some short contemplations about what I’ve done this year. In short, it was better than 2024.

Let’s start with my programming job as a frontend developer at Rave Tech Pte Ltd (Singapore). This month marks my first anniversary working at Rave Tech. I work in a very small engineering team (only three people now), and each of us handles multiple projects, so we truly own what we build. I feel great working here, and I’ve learned a lot, especially about the travel tech field, not only on the technical side but also on the business side.

Moving on, this year I started a business as a weekend side project. When I began, I knew nothing. There were so many things to learn and understand, like operations, marketing, sales, finance (accounting and tax), etc. To be honest, I felt like “what the fvck is this” almost every day. That pushed me to keep learning daily by reading business-related books and buying courses. I bought GrowWin by Pak Win, totally worth it. I also asked some relatives who already understand business, and that helped a lot.

I started the business in May 2025, and it was finally ready to run in early December 2025. What did I do between May and December? I built the system while learning. The idea actually sparked in April, so from mid-April until this post was written, I only took nine days off. There was no option to be lazy or do useless things.

I also started investing in Bitcoin at the beginning of this year. I’ve known about investing since 2023 but kept postponing it until 2025. That was a big mistake, but it’s okay. I know Bitcoin is very volatile, but I understand what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’m genuinely interested in the crypto world, which is why I enrolled in Akademi Crypto to understand more about crypto and blockchain. And also I enrolled Ternak Uang courses to improve my financial knowledge.

It’s kind of crazy when I look back at what I did this year. In summary, I learned a lot. I gained new knowledge from many places, and it kept me humble, because I’m still stupid in some areas. I even used my vacation budget (originally planned for Japan) to buy courses and books. The best investment is in yourself first, because the price you pay for ignorance is far higher than the price of knowledge.

Another lesson I learned this year is about relationships, in general. I don’t want to talk about it in detail here, but in short: don’t burn yourself just to warm others. Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this someday.

Outside of work and business, one of my favorite moments this year was attending a Muse concert for the second time (in just two years). I also met a lot of wonderful people this year. New connections, new perspectives, and experiences that keep opening my eyes more and more.

2025: The Year I Stopped Waiting

This blog once held a collection of posts, stories, thoughts, and ideas that I poured my heart into. But now, they're gone, all because of a mistake I made.

Originally, I hosted my blog on 000webhost using WordPress. It was free and convenient, perfect for testing the waters. I always told myself I’d move to a more reliable service eventually. But I kept postponing it, thinking there was always more time.

Then came the announcement: 000webhost was shutting down, and users had 40 days to back up their data. Instead of acting immediately, I kept delaying, caught up in life’s distractions. By the time I decided to act, it was too late. The platform was gone, and with it, all my posts vanished into digital oblivion.

It’s a painful lesson about procrastination and the value of backing up what matters. While I can’t bring back my old posts, I can move forward, rebuild, and ensure this doesn’t happen again.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been putting off something important, take this as your reminder: don’t wait until it’s too late. Learn from my mistake, and protect what you’ve worked hard to create.

Losing My Blog

There’s something magical about hitting the open road, the hum of the tires on the asphalt, and the promise of adventure just beyond the horizon. Road trips are more than just travel; they’re a celebration of freedom, spontaneity, and discovery.


Unlike flights that focus solely on the destination, road trips allow you to savor the journey. Each mile holds an opportunity, a hidden diner serving the best pie you've ever tasted, a scenic overlook that takes your breath away, or a quirky roadside attraction you never knew existed.


The beauty of road trips lies in the flexibility to follow your whims. Spot a sunflower field glowing under the sun? Pull over. Hear about a nearby waterfall? Detour and chase it. The road is yours to command, and time becomes a companion, not a constraint.


Whether you’re solo, with friends, or family, road trips foster connection. Conversations flow effortlessly as the landscape changes outside your window. Laughter, shared playlists, and inside jokes become memories you’ll carry forever.


As you plan your next getaway, consider skipping the airports and train stations. Instead, pack a bag, fuel up your car, and let the road guide you to new experiences. After all, the best stories often begin with, "Remember that road trip?"